Although Laura Dern was the only cast member who walked home with an Oscar, Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Story is anchored by two powerhouse performances by Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver as Nicole and Charlie Barber, a couple going through an increasingly messy and complicated divorce.

Baumbach is a master of writing naturalistic dialogue, capturing how real people talk in their most vulnerable moments, and Marriage Story is one of his most honest and personal screenplays to date, having been inspired by his own divorce from Jennifer Jason Leigh. So, here are The 5 Best Nicole Quotes (& 5 Best Charlie Quotes).

Nicole: “I’m Changing My Whole F****** Life.”

When Nicole meets a guy at a party, they go out to the car and make out. Nicole lays out very specific ground rules for what they’re going to do, and what base this guy is going to reach. She explains that she’s taking charge after feeling trapped in her marriage for years.

In a beautiful moment of empowerment, Nicole says, “I’m changing my whole f***ing life.” As she reclaims her freedom, we can all get behind her and champion this transformation.

Charlie: “Do Not Compare Me To My Father!”

It’s established early on in Marriage Story that Charlie hates his father, and has always feared that he’ll turn out like him. In his relationship with his own son, he tries to be the opposite of his dad in every way. So, when Nicole tells him that he’s acting like his father, it’s a pretty low blow.

The argument scene is Marriage Story’s greatest display of Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver’s impeccable acting in these roles. They did the whole scene in single takes, and it took 50 takes to nail it. That’s some serious commitment.

Nicole: “You Should’ve Considered My Happiness, Too.”

Nicole cuts to the core of plenty of failed marriages, including her own, when she tells Charlie, “You should’ve considered my happiness, too.” Charlie contests this, claiming that Nicole actually enjoyed their marriage and has retconned it as miserable in her head since they decided to end it: “Come on! You were happy. You’ve just decided that you weren’t now.”

It’s pretty heartbreaking to see how both Nicole and Charlie’s conceptions of their marriage change as their divorce gets uglier and uglier.

Charlie: “I Needed My Own A******.”

This is what Charlie says to Nicole when she tells him that he shouldn’t have fired his first lawyer, Bert, in favor of the more brutal Jay. Bert was being too friendly in the mediations.

This is what Charlie wanted at first, but when he saw the cutthroat nature of Nicole’s own lawyer, Nora, he realized he needed to hire someone who could match her ruthlessness.

Nicole: “I Never Really Came Alive For Myself. I Was Only Feeding His Aliveness.”

Nicole feels a lot more liberated by the divorce than Charlie does, because she realizes he got a lot more out of the relationship than she ever did. She sums it up perfectly herself: “I never really came alive for myself. I was only feeding his aliveness.”

When she breaks up with Charlie, for the first time in years, Nicole can focus on her own happiness and figure out what she actually wants outside of the family unit.

Charlie: “I’m Sorry, Bert, Am I Paying For This Joke?”

Lawyers cost a lot of money, so it’s easy to understand Charlie’s frustration when Bert starts telling a joke about a hairdresser criticizing a woman’s vacation plans. As he grows impatient with Bert’s long, drawn-out delivery of the joke, Charlie interrupts him to say, “I’m sorry, Bert, am I paying for this joke?”

By the way, the punchline of the joke, which Bert never gets to tell, sees the woman returning from her vacation and telling the hairdresser that she had a great time and even got an audience with the Pope, who asked her, “Who did this terrible hairstyle of yours?”

Nicole: “You’re Such A D***!”

In the powerful fight scene towards the end of the movie, Nicole and Charlie are brutally blunt with one another. At one point, Nicole simply tells Charlie, “You’re such a d***!”

The problems in their marriage were a lot deeper and more complicated than this alone, but it’s an easy way to sum it up.

Charlie: “Every Day, I Wake Up And I Hope You’re Dead!”

During the climactic argument scene in Marriage Story, Charlie and Nicole both say things that they’ll later regret and can’t take back, as everybody does when they have arguments with their partner (or ex-partner). But of all the terrible things they both say to each other, Charlie is responsible for the worst.

He screams in Nicole’s face, “Every day, I wake up and I hope you’re dead! Dead, like, if I could guarantee Henry would be okay, I’d hope you get an illness and then get hit by a car and die!” Then, he breaks down in tears and apologizes.

Nicole: “I Am Conflating, M***********! You Watch Me Conflate!”

Charlie’s brief affair with Mary Ann is rumored to have been inspired by director Noah Baumbach’s own affair with Greta Gerwig on the set of Greenberg (although the director himself has deflected questions about this in interviews).

When Nicole brings up the fact that Charlie was “fing another lady,” Charlie tells her, “It was one time! I think you’re conflating two different things. Mary Ann has nothing to do with L.A.” Nicole snaps back, “I am conflating, motherfer! You watch me conflate!”

Charlie: “She Makes Me Wish I Could Dance.”

In the opening montages of Marriage Story, Charlie and Nicole each read their “What I love about…” letters in voiceover. Their therapist has encouraged them to write these letters in order to remain amicable as they enter into their divorce proceedings.

Charlie says a lot of wonderful things about Nicole in his letter, but arguably the sweetest is this: “She’s brave. She’s a great dancer. Infectious. She makes me wish I could dance.”